"It's not fair."
My kids consistantly try to hold me accountable to this mysterious "fair bug" and I although I have refused to let it bite me, today I dug a shallow grave for the little guy in an attempt to finally put it to rest. The truth is, I make regular attempts to reveal to my children how their faces change the instant they compare themseves to someone else, in hopes that they will see how they were content the brief moment prior.
Being a child of God, I like to think about how He parents me and then ask myself if my strategies are consistent with His. If it is true that He doesn't have "favorite" children, He sure has an uncommon way of showing it. Mary (the Mother of Jesus) was deemed "favored among women," the farmer in one parable paid the farmhands who began their work at the end of the day the same wage as at the ones who worked all day long, and only a select few were raised from the dead. And those are only a few Biblical examples. Sam, down the street, well, his house is bigger, his children are better behaved, and he just doesn't seem to get sick as often. If I didn't understand God's heart, I would see that, by means of comparison, no two receive the same perceived blessings or gifts. Instead, each one is given according to his need.
But God, I need more money, and a better job and I need...don't you know what I need?
Yes. He knows. In fact, He knows before I ask. And He knows better than I.
If you didn't know that God's heart was for you, not against you, you might...after analyzing His blatent neglect of you, be convinced that life isn't fair. And therefore, God isn't fair either.
Well, my friends, it's true. There is not much in life that is fair. But that is very different from convincing yourself that God loves you less just because you decided to compare yourself to someone else and get unhappy.
For those of us who "get this" concept already...then WHY do we, at Christmas time...make extra effort to be fair?
It's just easier, isn't it? And when something is easier that means it's better for you and those around you, right? Hmmm...
I think about what God does with His children. Surely God gives everyone the exact same gift so that no ones feelings get hurt and no one has to feel uncomfortable or jealous, right? Surely God is concerned with fairness. Isn't each person given the exact same "measure" of faith? Isn't each given the same "gift"? Oh my. What kind of God would we have...who would allow Himself to be confined by our definition of "fairness"?
A few years ago, I watched how crippling this false sense of "justice" is when my grandmother felt she was unable to support a grandchild going through very difficult financial trouble because, in order to give him money, she would "have to" give all of her grandchildren the exact same in order to not show favortism and be fair. Her hands were tied, and she herself tied them in the name of "fair." How sad her heart must have been to not be able to help a child in need!
Today the discomfort of "unfairness" was put to the test in me strongly. I had an arrangement with a friend of mine that this year we wouldn't be giving each other gifts for Christmas. Well, like a good rule-follower...I kept the rules emphatically.
But...guess what? Everything was fine until...she didn't keep the rules. Can I tell you how hard it was to receive a gift from someone knowing that I had nothing for her? My heart screamed injustice, and although I wanted desperately to find something...anything, to give in return to balance the table, I had nothing. My hands were empty and I was out of time. It was an uncomfortable blessing, and I think I grew about 12 inches after eating my own words!!
Complete, unfavored, unconditional love cannot be fully received if it is constantly being compared. We need to learn to receive, be blessed, and fully loved.
"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him."
Psalm 37:4-6
