The fight that's worth it.

“For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...
I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.”

-Steven Wright

Last week, after school I was presented with a ticket to a very special hockey game that was about to commence in the Upstairs Loft, Row 1, Seat 1, in short order. The ticket was from my seven year old son, Isaac. He also made a separate ticket for Eden, and one for Roxy, the dog.

While he was waiting for us to “arrive” at the game (I needed time to make tea), the players practised on the “ice.” When we arrived, I realized that there was no one to sing the National Anthems (gasp), so I grabbed a nearby drumstick and stole the honour for myself.  Isaac waited patiently for the ridiculous part of the show to end, feigning interest. After I was done or mostly done (no...I don’t know all the words to the "Star Spankled Manner"), I took my spot in the seating area.


ã 2011 Isaac Bedwell, All Rights Reserved
As you can see from the ticket, the Montreal Canadiens were playing the Bruins. Or something like that. It gets complicated from there because there is only one player and he has 10 different names, and 6 different positions. At any point there could be a handful of players in the penalty box and no one ever knows where the referee really went.  I do try to pay attention.

But my biggest challenge is trying to figure out which team to cheer for because I can’t tell whose side my Isaac is actually on.

Isaac is a “fighter.” You see, he can be on anyone’s team at any time, and because he transfers his enthusiastic play-by-play to favour whomever is winning at the time, it is difficult to focus. On one hand, I suppose it makes for good entertainment because you never know who is going to win, but personally, I find that I really enjoy the intermission: This is the part of the game where Roxy is allowed on the ice to play (I make circus music while she chases the ball).

I’m getting to my point. You almost have to see it to believe it. It happens when the offense goes in for the score. The most impressive part is the interaction between the offensive player and goalie. Isaac will actually stand in net and chip the puck backwards towards himself with his stick and dive to save it with his body. 

My point is that on that day, Isaac was fighting against himself.

Some days we are not much different. We beat ourselves up over things that we can not possibly control and were not responsible for.

You see, although Isaac is always scoring, he is also always being scored on.

And every day you fight for something.

Some fight themselves.
  Some fight those around them.
     Some fight to stay alive.
        Some fight to believe again.
          ...And some fight to live with JOY.

I get it. We all do. It’s part of being human. You were born to fight for something.

But sometimes in our "fight or flight" spontaneous reaction, we can fight the wrong thing.
...Sometimes we forget, and save our punches for people who are on the same team.

Today...save your energy for the battle that matters.

“My heart and kidneys are fighting each other; Call a truce to this civil war.”

-Psalm 25:17 (MSG)

I want change.

Routine is a cherished commodity in my day.  Peace and Joy dance alongside when it happens, and it welcomes my day with the kiss of predictability.  Uhhh...well, on the days that it exists, it does.  Admittedly, there are a few pressing times a year that the life of my routine becomes threatened like a goldfish cracker in a room of pre-schoolers: 
          Christmas and Summer.

This time of year is wonderful, don't get me wrong.  Every year my routine is challenged, I get better at rolling with the punches, but, I have to admit, this has taken practice.

Case in point:  A few nights ago I decided that I was going to challenge my routine:  Tonight, I am going to sleep on my back, I decided.  Why?  Simply because, I never sleep on my back.  I was stuck in a routine.  And, this one was harder than I thought to get out of.  It didn't feel natural.  I kept wanting to roll to my side.  I couldn't get sleepy.  All for the sake of challenging my routine, I refused to give in, and I am happy to announce that I have successfully fallen asleep on my back for three entire nights.  Just because.  And, no, I didn't stay that way (I'd need different tools if I were going to challenge my unconscious mind)...but I fell asleep that way, and thus, survived. 
Did I like it? 
NO! 
Was it good for me? 
Sure. 
Let's say it was. 
I'm challenging my sense of control this year...by intentionally losing it, one day at a time.

Some might say:  "Mayhem!  Anarchy!  Pointless challenge!" 
I say:  Baby steps, people, baby steps.

Yesterday my son's advent calendar was driving me CRAZY.  I think most, if not all of the little doors were open.  OPEN!!  We're talking 11 days of doors here.  Just to demonstrate to him how I felt, I opened all the cupboard doors in the kitchen and told him that what he was doing with his calendar was like if I left the kitchen like this. 

His reply:  "So, what's wrong with that?"  (Apparently he has missed the memo that says a kitchen with all the cupboard doors shut is a happy kitchen.) I had to explain that if doors were meant to be open all the time, they wouldn't be needed.  I'd like to say that he has had a revelation about the "why" in door-keeping duties, but after leaving the front door of the house wide open tonight for over an hour, I realized that I was the one being challenged here. 

So I...instead of trying to bring him over to my side (because who says my way is the only way?), have been faced with the reality that I must first change myself.

I guess you could say I have been inspired by the daily journey of the wisemen in our house.  They started their trek towards the star 11 days ago.  Every year, they travel around the house (at night of course, that's the only time they can see the star)...and it takes the poor lads the better part of the month to find the baby.  Already the journey has been treacherous:  there has been no semblance of routine for them.  They don't even know where they are getting their next meal from!  Already they've travelled aboard pirate ships and housesat at Barbie's house, and one of them keeps losing his head.  Twice.  But they're not dead yet (ie. the dog hasn't got them yet).  And, although they make the journey every year, not even the routing is predictable.  Each night they have no clue what to expect. 

And although I am far from a wooden wisemen, I am learning to let a little spontaneity fill my day a little bit more during this season.  It's my gift to myself.

"Later, a great many people from the Gerasene countryside got together
       and asked Jesus to leave—
             too much change, too fast, and they were scared.
So Jesus got back in the boat and set off." 

                                               (Luke 8:37 MSG)

I don't want you to miss out on what God has for you because you are afraid of change.  God help us.