I want change.

Routine is a cherished commodity in my day.  Peace and Joy dance alongside when it happens, and it welcomes my day with the kiss of predictability.  Uhhh...well, on the days that it exists, it does.  Admittedly, there are a few pressing times a year that the life of my routine becomes threatened like a goldfish cracker in a room of pre-schoolers: 
          Christmas and Summer.

This time of year is wonderful, don't get me wrong.  Every year my routine is challenged, I get better at rolling with the punches, but, I have to admit, this has taken practice.

Case in point:  A few nights ago I decided that I was going to challenge my routine:  Tonight, I am going to sleep on my back, I decided.  Why?  Simply because, I never sleep on my back.  I was stuck in a routine.  And, this one was harder than I thought to get out of.  It didn't feel natural.  I kept wanting to roll to my side.  I couldn't get sleepy.  All for the sake of challenging my routine, I refused to give in, and I am happy to announce that I have successfully fallen asleep on my back for three entire nights.  Just because.  And, no, I didn't stay that way (I'd need different tools if I were going to challenge my unconscious mind)...but I fell asleep that way, and thus, survived. 
Did I like it? 
NO! 
Was it good for me? 
Sure. 
Let's say it was. 
I'm challenging my sense of control this year...by intentionally losing it, one day at a time.

Some might say:  "Mayhem!  Anarchy!  Pointless challenge!" 
I say:  Baby steps, people, baby steps.

Yesterday my son's advent calendar was driving me CRAZY.  I think most, if not all of the little doors were open.  OPEN!!  We're talking 11 days of doors here.  Just to demonstrate to him how I felt, I opened all the cupboard doors in the kitchen and told him that what he was doing with his calendar was like if I left the kitchen like this. 

His reply:  "So, what's wrong with that?"  (Apparently he has missed the memo that says a kitchen with all the cupboard doors shut is a happy kitchen.) I had to explain that if doors were meant to be open all the time, they wouldn't be needed.  I'd like to say that he has had a revelation about the "why" in door-keeping duties, but after leaving the front door of the house wide open tonight for over an hour, I realized that I was the one being challenged here. 

So I...instead of trying to bring him over to my side (because who says my way is the only way?), have been faced with the reality that I must first change myself.

I guess you could say I have been inspired by the daily journey of the wisemen in our house.  They started their trek towards the star 11 days ago.  Every year, they travel around the house (at night of course, that's the only time they can see the star)...and it takes the poor lads the better part of the month to find the baby.  Already the journey has been treacherous:  there has been no semblance of routine for them.  They don't even know where they are getting their next meal from!  Already they've travelled aboard pirate ships and housesat at Barbie's house, and one of them keeps losing his head.  Twice.  But they're not dead yet (ie. the dog hasn't got them yet).  And, although they make the journey every year, not even the routing is predictable.  Each night they have no clue what to expect. 

And although I am far from a wooden wisemen, I am learning to let a little spontaneity fill my day a little bit more during this season.  It's my gift to myself.

"Later, a great many people from the Gerasene countryside got together
       and asked Jesus to leave—
             too much change, too fast, and they were scared.
So Jesus got back in the boat and set off." 

                                               (Luke 8:37 MSG)

I don't want you to miss out on what God has for you because you are afraid of change.  God help us.