Favorite flavor of favor

I'm the least likely person who should start a business for herself. I don't like promotions, especially when it means promoting myself. Naturally, I assume this will set me up not to succeed, unless God has other plans. So the name is finished, and the logo is next. This all seemed like a brilliant idea when all I had to do was think about it. Now that it has become more like work...it feels like work. I need inspiration to arrive at my door with about as much spontenaeity as it would take for a butterfly to land on my finger.

But I press in. I bought a new flash for my camera. Not only is it a new flash, it's actually my first flash...I have survived this long without the need for one because I shoot in the studio and have learned how to adjust other settings in order to get a natural shot without a flash.

When the package arrived on Sunday (last day on sale), I opened it. Gulped. Then I sat down for a read through the manual. Why do I even bother? I must have been reading the Chinese translation...nope, it was indeed English. This is the point at which fear decided to inject itself into my lack of understanding. If I can't understand this, WHY am I a photographer again?

Three long days. Wonderful husband checking in...have you tried your flash yet? Same response...No, I'm afraid.

Well, today was the day before the photo shoot and I had no more time on my side. So I hooked it up and began taking photos like it was the easiest thing in the world. Uhhhh...how did that happen again? I don't get it. I can't even explain to you how my fingers work on my camera...they just know what to do. It amazes me...probably because my brain has nothing else to do but wonder how my fingers know what to do.

I guess that's what favor is like. Hard to describe. Undeserved. And better than you could do on your own. It's like putting a piece of seafood in your mouth and tasting chocolate. Today, I am blown away, and so thankful for it. What a nice surprise indeed.

Pick.
Such a heavy brick.
Sick.
Don't understand
this card trick.
Quick!
No! Sick.
Flick!
No! Too thick.
Tock...Tick...Tock...Tick...
One little Flick.
Two little Kick.
Three I Stick.
Breathe. Click.
ooooooh...Slick!

Having things removed

Today I am going to see a plastic surgeon.

That makes me laugh. Sounds so....so...hah...like a dream come true! Hah!

Well, I just have this darkening mole or freckle or whatever you want to call it that is right in my hairline, and my family doctor thought it should be removed. He thinks it's kind of tricky because it's in my hair...so...off I go to the plastic surgeon.

Since this could be the last time I'm visiting a plastic surgeon...I should enjoy it while I can.

If only it were so easy to remove things I don't need from my life.
Selfishness.
Pride.
Being quick to speak. Slow to listen.
Wish I could just go to the Sin Surgeon and have that removed. Oh wait...I can.

Zech. 3:9 "...and I will remove the sin of this land in a single day."

Who designed "slow growth"?

Not sure how to put this into words.


This weekend I was in a conflicted state. In my spirit I was seeking God....but it was mixed in with moments of pure selfishness and controlling out of immaturity. What a sorry mix.


But looking back on the events of the weekend, I can suddenly see clearly. This is how it played out...

I met a man who used a phrase that I had heard before, so it was able to shoot past my ears and go straight into my spirit. He said:

"Character is more important than giftings."

He went on to explain how a man whom he respected, who was a powerful man of God used to manifest God's presence tangibly in the prophetic and miracles...fell.


I listened to the story. Sounded familiar. Hmmmm...maybe him but not me. Right God? I'd never do that, would I?

Within hours of soaking in God's presence and asking Him for more of Him, and hearing this reminder about character, I was exposing all sorts of immature behaviour. Basically, I was trying to control something that didn't need to be controlled. God allowed this behaviour to surface so that I could see how easy it is to "fall" into bad character...and, as usual, His kindness led me to repentence...again.


But it continued, because although I "heard" Him...I didn't hear deeply enough. It wasn't personalized yet. Still sitting on the surface. Not deep enough.


So this morning, God let one of my biggest, tallest, strongest trees...fall over.


This bugged me. NAGGED at my heart because He KNOWS how closely my garden symbolizes my spirit. And you read what I wrote on Saturday...how did I phrase it...?

"GGGGGRRRRRROWWWWW!!!"

Well, God knows what is best. This tree actually fell because it grew too fast. The roots didn't go down far enough (we don't have a lot of dirt) and couldn't support its rapid spring growth.



So...you mean slow and steady is what God wants for me? Growing to fast can actually be bad for me? God wants to work out my character flaws before He gives me the gifts He has planned?


Days like today when the message is sooooooo incredibly clear...and a tree had to fall over so it could soak in just a little deeper. Yes Lord. I hear you. I am willing to wait so that You can form your character deep within my heart.


How is your garden growing?