What's love anyway?

Love.

I am convinced that if I were to truly know what love meant, it would change me completely.

I am convinced that I have created countless bucketfuls of "love sand castles" in which I have proudly presented what love is and what love does to myself. For instance, I know that it hugs when it feels like it and, well, sometimes when it doesn't. I know that it tries to humbly let someone else go first, even when it wants you to just hurry up so we can get this over with. It speaks softly, not rudely...even when the words still sting. But when the feeble conditions of my love-towers have been kicked over after a long day at the beach, what I have seen is that these "sand fortresses" are merely a shadow of the unconditional love that I have craved to have.

Transforming, unconditional love. I am still convinced that I don't understand this. But knowledge alone puffs up; it is love that builds up. So am I searching for "knowledge" alone or digging deeper than that?

Enter: Commercial Break
Right now, I am wondering why the picture of sandy beaches and sand castles are playing a role in my heart's forensics. And I don't want to answer that either.
Sand. There is no substance to it. Nothing can be built on it. It can sustain only: nothing.
Sand castles. Castles are supposed to be fortresses. Strong towers. Sure, if they're not made of sand. That is plainly ironic.
The beach. A place where sand is...and I am. I am at the beach. But where must I go to find the kind of love that I need so desperately for new ground? My heart needs a new picture.
End: Commerial Break.

I am convinced that love is not knowledge.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Cor. 13:13)

So love is more impressive than faith. But...what?...how can this be?...Faith only the size of a mustard seed can move a mountain! Is love really stronger then that?

...what is love moving in my life?

And love is more compelling than hope. Hope doesn't disappoint. Hope will never be put to shame. Through hope, strength is renewed.

...how is love being satisfied, unashamed and strengthened in my life?

Enter: New picture

So I had this picture one day that I was on the absolute tip of a mountain peak. The peak was so tiny that everything I had carried with me to get up there was falling off of me...back down the mountain. I looked down and almost went with it the load I carried. I needed something to cling to because I was losing my balance. Looking down would send me down.

I looked up. And in the picture, there was a foot extended towards me from above and I grabbed onto the big toe and clung as the last pieces of me rolled down the mountain. My life was saved. Just barely. And I squeezed as though my life depended on it. It did. And I somehow knew what I hadn't known before. That I was somehow safe as long as I was clinging to...

His foot.

Love begins

generous

with a new address

birthed at the base

and extending

upwards

towards

the peak

Where all my pretenses,

defenses

packages

and sandy castles

roll away

because I can hold them

no longer

and all that is left is

looking up

Take me to this place

Where I will

be

and love

with

no conditions.